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| "Automat" by Edward Hopper |
I would always wonder
Why the night, especially the night, could make us face all of our vulnerable moments, traumas, and bad memories? Why the painful memories tend to live more than the good ones? Why our minds tend to retrieve all the pain before sleeping
Then, I would think
Maybe it is not about the night, but the night is just the end of the day, when everyone is sleeping and you are awake, alone
Maybe it is about being alone, and lonely, and not busy with your daily chores, and it is the only time when you are confronting your mind, your true self, completely vulnerable and weak
But why is it a hell to live with our minds, with our memories, with our truest selves? Why are painful memories and feelings are so dismal that they forbid us from sleeping calmly, from breaking in a gentle way, from falling slowly, steady, and not in a very painful panicking way
However, this is probably, is just how life works, there are no answers needed, no answers to be found, it is just one of this life rules, you can't be calm if you are living with your brutal mind, and the night can't be calm if you are sleeping with your brutal mind
It's up to you, to learn how to live with your brutal mind, or to just hope, no matter how hard is it, that one day your mind would stop being brutal, and starts to be gentle and kind to you
.Just like this
Khaoula
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